Did I think or wish or dream that at the age of 32, I'd be moving back home to live with my mom? Nope. Where's my husband, house, white picket fence? Where's my 2.5 kids and my bulldog named Bernice? When am I going to lose the rest of this weight? Can I treat myself while trying to lose weight? Do I need to put myself on lock-down in order to do so? Where's my life that I see everyone else around me living?
As you may know, I am currently in a long distance relationship. I've been with this cutie of a man for 3 years now. Half way through our relationship, he got a promotion which landed him in Vegas. This was an opportunity he couldn't pass up. Some days are completely fine (thank goodness for face time) and then some days are REALLY hard. And on those really hard days, I can get angry with how my life is turning out - I'll take it out on him, I'll eat pizza, I'll cry, Wonder if this is worth it, etc. I want a plan, and I want it now. I'm almost 32 and I'm not getting any younger!
Guess what Kristin? Life isn't a straight line to happiness. There are bumps, mountains and hills and VERY curvy roads. I should know this by now. If anyone should know this, it'd be me! So put on your big girl pants and quit your bitchin!
So here's what I've decided to do. My lease to my apartment is up at the end of July and I'm moving back home, with the hopes of within a year - moving in with the boy and not having to break a lease. Moving to Vegas? Him coming home? We don't know yet, but I have to stay positive that everything is going to work out. I know he's the one and we're gonna figure it out. In the meantime, I get to spend more time with my mom, pay some things off and save some money. I think it's a win win for myself.
When it comes to the weight loss - I've lost 100 pounds and I've been pretty steady at that number for almost 2 years. Which is great! If I didn't want to lose any more weight. So what do I have to do? Learn balance. Balance certainly does not mean not working out for a week and drinking a whole bottle of wine on a Thursday night proceeded by a very large pizza Friday afternoon. Which is what I did last week. I need to realize that working out makes me feel better - mentally as well as physically. I know this - I just need to remember it when I'm thinking "I need a break." Doing good things for myself makes me happy. Why is it so hard to remember that?
I also need to start doing ALL the things I want to do. Just because one part of my life is on hold doesn't mean that my entire life gets put on hold.
It's time for more of this:
Balance
Positivity
Reading
Movie Watching
Traveling
Meditation
Working on my relationships with other people
Exercise
80/20 life style when it comes to food.
Yoga (I've been obsessed with it since I was 12. Time to take a REAL class)
Loving myself - who I am. Right now. In this moment.
and it's certainly time for less of this:
Negativity
Anger
Doubt
Worry
I'm totally over it.
